It is already established from the previous article who the father of lies is. In this one, we will explore, from the biblical perspective, how Satan employs all manner of devices to spread lies. 

At the center of the Christian faith is the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. Paul says in 1st Corinthians 15:16, “And if Christ has not been raised, your faith is futile and you are still in your sins.” Furthermore, belief in the resurrection differentiates Christianity from other faiths and world views. The historicity of Jesus Christ is not often disputed. In Islam, he is seen as a Prophet and Messenger of God and according to renowned secular (read agnostic-atheist) New Testament historian Bart Ehrman, Jesus did exist. Often, the bone of contention between Christianity and other worldviews or faiths is the resurrection of Jesus from the grave. According to scripture, as early as the very day Jesus was resurrected, the father of lies attempted to employ his greatest weapon to cover up the resurrection. This scheme of Satan, aimed at the very heart of Christianity, would have ended the spread of the gospel in the ancient world. According to the account in Matthew 28:11-15, the resurrection was indeed reported to the Chief Priests of the Jews by the soldiers guarding the tomb. But what was their reaction to this news?:

And when they had assembled with the elders and taken counsel, they gave a sufficient sum of money to the soldiers and said, “Tell people, ‘His disciples came by night and stole him away while we were asleep.’ And if this comes to the governor’s ears, we will satisfy him and keep you out of trouble.

The devout religious leaders and elders of the land took counsel to bury the truth of Jesus’ resurrection by silencing eyewitnesses with money and binding themselves with the commitment to defend them before the governor. All of this constitutes the hatching of the plan to spread a lie instead of the truth having its free course. But was it successful? To an extent, yes, it was! According to Matthew in verse 15 of the chapter under consideration, the soldiers did take the money “and this story has been spread among the Jews to this day”.  The phrase “… to this day” implies that the false story was still circulating when Matthew was penning his gospel.  Historians differ in their estimations of the dates the gospels were written. However, it is widely believed that Matthew was written around AD 80. Some scholars estimate a later date. Now, whatever the case may be, it points to the fact that the lie that Jesus’ body was stolen by his disciples was spread for 80+ years. Even though there were eyewitnesses of the resurrected Christ, the lie still traveled for 80+ years. Even to date, some people still believe this lie; it is called the stolen body hypothesis.

One thing you should always remember about lies is that they spread! Indeed they spread swiftly like wild fire. Lies spread by the agency of people; I call them agents of falsehood. Of course, the father of lies is at the helm of affairs. Remember from the previous article that Jesus referred to the Jews as children of the devil because of their opposition to the truth. In this case, the Jews served as Satan’s agents of untruth and the spread of lies. Agents of falsehood often disseminate a lie or oppose the truth so that lies spread. We must endeavour to know them, expose them, and do everything possible not to imitate them. 

Below I have characterized the agents of falsehood according to their intentions and flaws. 

• Evil-intentioned people – these are individuals who either spread lies by themselves or facilitate the spread of lies to fulfill the will of the father of lies. Sometimes, their greatest contribution to the spread of lies is to oppose the truth. People who fall into this category spread falsehood to promote the agenda of Satan and this is what makes them evil. In the context of this series, a typical example would be the Jews and religious leaders of Jesus’ day. In John 8, Jesus describes them as children of the devil because of their murderous intent towards him and the fact that they don’t stand in the truth. Again, from the resurrection story discussed earlier, the Chief Priests and the elders of the Jews fall under this category as well, especially because of their strong opposition to the truth of the resurrection. They bribed the guards at the tomb and even fed them with a contrary story to spread. From my earlier estimation, this story was passed on for nearly a century. The impact of this lie, probably, is that some people heard it, accepted it, and denied the resurrection based on it. That is evil!
• Ignorant and lazy people – these are people who hold to the poor work ethic of not fact-checking the information they receive. They tend to spread lies without doing the necessary due diligence. They spread lies with no evil intent only that they lack the discipline of fact-checking the information they receive before spreading it. Other times, such people are way too confident about the assumptions and conclusions they draw about others. They tend to observe a person and draw heavy conclusions based on very little evidence. This kind of agents of falsehood can be seen in the story of Demetrius (Acts 19) and how he influenced people in the city of Ephesus to oppose the truth of the gospel. What fascinates me about this story is the fact that Demetrius’ influence caused a riot in Ephesus and the bible says in Acts 19:32 that most of the people involved in the riot, chanting “Great is Artemis of the Ephesians”, did not even know why they were there. Simply put, they joined in the chorus to oppose the truth of the gospel and spread the lie of the worship of Artemis but they didn’t bother to find out why the riot was happening and to what end. At some point, the bible says the riots continued for 2 hours (Acts 19:34). These are lazy and ignorant people who will not do due diligence before contributing to opposing the truth or spreading a lie. 
• Greedy People – these are people who stand to gain a lot when lies spread. In most cases, they either start the fire of deception themselves or support its spread. A typical example of this is Demetrius. Paul’s ministry was influencing people in the city of Ephesus to desist from idolatry. This was affecting Demetrius’ business as a silversmith who made silver shrines of the goddess Artemis. He opposed the truth of God’s word for selfish gains. He started the riots by joining forces with the craftsmen of Ephesus to oppose the truth of God’s word because his business was being affected by the spread of the gospel in Ephesus.  
• Fearful people – these are individuals who happen to either know the truth or doubt the lie however, they spread the lie anyway because they are afraid of the repercussions of doing otherwise. Sometimes they do not spread lies intentionally, but fear grips them causing them to disassociate themselves from the truth. This facilitates the spread of lies. A biblical example of this category is the story of Peter and the number of times he denied knowing Jesus. Interestingly, Jesus had already told Peter this would happen. However, Peter still failed to uphold the truth or defend his association with the truth even before a little girl, the servant of the High Priest, according to Mark 14:66. In a situation where it felt like there was a mob running on the energy of the lie that Jesus was blasphemous and deserved to die, anybody who was found associated with him or defending him would have faced a similar punishment. Hence, Peter, and we can include the rest of the Apostles except John, did not associate himself publicly with the truth because of the fear of losing his life. 

I have found that, on a personal level, you will encounter people who fall into any of the groups listed above or a combination of two or more of them. These individuals might be your friends or close family members and relations who will facilitate the spread of lies about you either by their actions or inactions. Again, at the helm of affairs is the father of lies but he needs human agents to facilitate his schemes. And at any given time he can use anybody who avails himself to him. Anytime I hear complete falsehoods being propagated about someone to tarnish their image or for whatever purpose, I almost always attribute it to the father of lies. Yes, the individuals involved must be held responsible for spreading untruths, half-truths and fake news, but behind the scenes is the great liar. In such cases, I have found that prayer is a more potent attempt at saving your reputation than actually trying to employ PR tactics. Sometimes, the extent to which the lies are spread is beyond your reach hence there is very little you can do. You can explain yourself over and over again but it will not suffice. I suggest you spend time praying about it and trusting God to allow the truth to come out so you can be vindicated. It is not easy to seek to nullify the impact of a viral lie about you with the truth. But God is able to do all things.

Looking back at the analogy I made about lies and truth in the opening paragraph, I will say that although lies spread faster, the truth is more majestic, hence its seemingly slow pace in catching up with the lie. But when it eventually does, it disintegrates the lie into nothingness. God has a way of exposing the folly of lies and liars by introducing or confirming the majesty of the truth. There is no hope for the lie when the truth catches up. Liars and agents of falsehood often suffer bigger dents to their credibility and reputation than the subjects of their lies. If you find yourself battling the spread of lies about you, no matter the virality or coverage the lie seems to have received, take it to the LORD in prayer. He will vindicate you and redeem your image because you are his child.

However, ‘women in ministry’ has always been a controversial subject that has divided the body of Christ to an extent. There are denominations that believe women are not allowed to stand in the pulpit to instruct men publicly. Others see no problem with that. I don’t seek to merely take sides (although my opening paragraph gives my position away). What I seek to do with this write-up is to point out what God’s word says on the matter and I hope I do just that and not let my personal opinions and preferences cloud my judgment.

First of all, this problem arose from the misinterpretation of some portions of the New Testament – specifically the writings of Paul. In two separate passages found in two of his epistles, Paul admonishes the recipients of his letter to make sure the women in the church keep quiet and learn in submission. These two passages can be found in 1 Timothy 2 and 1 Corinthians 14. Due to the instructions, Paul gave in these two passages, some believe that it isn’t scripturally correct for a woman to pastor a church. Before I proceed, I’d like to clarify a few things. The controversy is not necessarily about the prohibition of women from sharing the gospel with people – as that would have been an outright contradiction of the great commission Jesus gave to believers. I believe what is in contention here is whether women should be allowed to pastor a church thereby instructing men in scripture and exercising authority over them.

I will start with the easier of the two texts, 1^st Corinthians 14:33-36. In this passage, Paul states emphatically that women are not permitted to speak in church and that if they would want to learn anything they should ask their husbands at home. The second part of this instruction gives us a hint of the context of the events Paul was addressing. However, this isn’t clear to all so we would still have to delve deeper into the issue. So Paul prohibits women from speaking in church. How can we convince people that the gospel of grace is one built on the foundation of love if there is a verse that seeks to suggest that women as a sexually-defined group of people are not allowed to speak in the church simply because they are women? It is hard to reconcile this notion with the ethos of the New Testament. We don’t need to go far, let’s stay in the book of 1^st Corinthians. In the 11^th chapter of the same book, Paul admonishes women to pray and prophesy with their heads covered. Throughout the book of 1^st Corinthians, we see the apostle speak elaborately on the gifts of the spirit and how they should be administered in the church. The gift of prophecy being one of the most prominent of all the gifts was duly addressed by Paul. He stated that when one person is prophesying, there should be total silence in the church. Since it is already an established fact that women can prophesy in church just like their male counterparts, doesn’t this tell us that they are at liberty to speak in church?

Indeed women are permitted to speak in the church to the hearing of everyone. This doesn’t in any way render Paul’s instructions for women to keep quiet in the church void. What we should be asking ourselves is, what kind of ‘quiet’ was the apostle referring to? Analyzing the text soundly would reveal that the apostle gave the instructions amongst several other instructions that would promote orderliness in church. Hence it is safe to say that he instructed women to be quiet in the instance when their talking was distracting the flow of the church service. It is believed that during service some of the women were fond of asking their husbands questions, seeking further clarifications of what was being taught. Hence the apostle’s instruction that they should ask their husbands at home if they didn’t understand what was being taught. The same Paul who said women should prophesy with their heads covered couldn’t have said in the same book that they are not permitted to prophesy (or speak publicly) in the church. In his essay on ‘Women in Ministry’, Adoniram Judson states that ‘So it seems, at least, for this word “prophesy” in the New Testament “signifies not merely to foretell future events, but to communicate religious truth in general under a Divine inspiration” (vide Hackett on “Acts”, p.49)’. This tells us that women are very much allowed to instruct men in scripture – I will delve into this a little more later on.

The second passage that causes confusion about women in ministry is in 1^st Timothy 2. This is a far more difficult text because it introduces some historical events as the basis of the instructions given by the apostle. Here again, Paul instructs that women should not be allowed to teach nor usurp authority over men. Let’s look at the context in which he makes this statement. So Timothy was head of the church in Ephesus that is why this letter was being addressed to him. If you know anything about the ancient city of Ephesus, you would know that it was a city that was wholly given to idolatry. Specifically the worship of the goddess Artemis. The temple of Artemis was one of the 7 wonders of the ancient world. It is an edifice that took 120 years to build. The temple was supported by 127 columns, each being 65 feet high (roughly 7 stories). Inside the building stood the huge multiple-breasted statue of the goddess. The servants (temple functionaries) of Artemis were mostly women. The men who were allowed to serve in the temple had to be castrated first – basically stripped of their manhood. This gives a bit of a background to the text under consideration. Some of these women had been converted and brought into the church. They were exposed to a system of worship where women exercised undue authority over men. It is believed that it was this particular problem that the apostle sought to address when he said I do not permit a woman to exercise authority over a man. It is worthy of note however that the apostle began this particular passage by stating that ‘let the women LEARN in silence and with all subjection’ (v11). This indicates that he wasn’t against female education and that is very important to this topic. It may appear trivial to us today but we need to understand that in those days women were not allowed to study the word of God. Kenneth Bailey mentions that:

Judith Hauptmann, in her essay on “Images of Women in the Talmud,” notes Rabbi Eliezer’s view that it is better to burn the words of the Torah than to give them to women.

With the passage in 1Timothy 2, the main problem is the fact that Paul makes reference to historical data as the basis for his instructions. He states that the reason he prohibits women from teaching and exercising authority over men is that in the garden, it was the woman that was deceived and not the man. This is interesting. So our quest is to find out why the woman was first deceived and not the man in the garden. Now it was Eve who was deceived first. That is to say that Adam was deceived as well so let’s not get ahead of ourselves and assume that there is a device preinstalled in men that prevents them from falling prey to deception. As a matter of fact in the book of 2Timothy Paul states categorically that there were some men teaching false doctrines, entering into homes of women who were burdened by the guilt of their own sins hence these women fell for their lies (2 Timothy 3:6). We can see that all the Apostle is advocating for is the teaching of sound doctrine. This cannot happen when the one being taught is exhibiting a haughty attitude towards the teacher. That is why he admonishes women to learn in quietness and not usurp authority over their teachers – who were men. This looks very much like the event in the garden where a woman was instructed by her husband and it was her who FIRST sinned. Was Paul admonishing all women to submit to the authority of all men? I doubt that, that is an instruction meant for married people. Paul was admonishing the women in the church to submit to sound teaching by being silent while they learn and not fall prey to deception like Eve did. 2Timothy 3 actually proves that they had already started falling for the lies of heretic male teachers in the city.

The last verse of this chapter talks about women being saved in childbearing. This is a tough one too. If you are familiar with the writings of Paul, you would know that he was vehemently opposed to any teaching that suggested that anybody could be saved in another way other than confessing Jesus. So definitely, he wasn’t saying here that women will obtain salvation in the Lord through childbirth. The word translated as ‘saved’ is ‘sozo’ – which can also mean ‘prosper’, ‘to be in good health’, ‘blessed’ etc. Therefore, we can understand that portion of scripture as Paul saying women shall prosper in childbearing. Why would he say that? Because it is believed there was a false doctrine going around intending to prohibit women from having children or even getting married. Again, we see the apostle address doctrinal issues here.

This is the end of part one of this short series. Do look out for the continuation in the next blog post. Remember to make your contributions and ask your questions in the comment section below.

References:

Ken Bailey – “Women in Ministry – Woodstock Q and A”

Adoniram Judson – “Women in Ministry”

Hugenberger – “Women in ministry”

Kaiser – “Women in Ministry, commentary on text”

This is clearly not worthy of celebration. In fact, I was appalled at this fact when I read it. Those were 60 million lives that could have been but weren’t given the chance. For various reasons women commit abortions. All kinds of women take this decision: married, single, rich, poor, abused etc. I am not outraged at them, but rather the system that allowed this. I am not quite keen on acquiring a tag but if this viewpoint makes me pro-life, then so be it. One thing I know is that nobody can be more pro-life than the fetus. Within a period of 9 months, what started as a clot of blood develops limbs and transforms rapidly into a full-blown human being in the womb. That is pro-life. Nothing can be more indicative of a pro-life stance than growth. Absolutely nothing. Always remember that humanity loses a pro-lifer after each successful abortion.

But it is an issue of choice, they say. It is an issue of what the bearer of the baby says. I’m really not here to debate that, but I just wanted to point out a few things I noticed from the ongoing discussion on social media. From what I know about abortions, especially the ones I have heard about, it was the guys who forced the idea on the ladies. In Lecrae’s song ‘The Good, The Bad, the Ugly’ he recounts how he forced his woman to get an abortion when he was much younger. He stated in the song that the lady went on with the plan because she loved him. But from all indications, he regrets that decision. I remember hearing a story about this macho man in the neighborhood I grew up in running after a lady with a glass of water and some pills in broad daylight. He was literally forcing her to terminate the pregnancy in the full glare of everybody around.

All lives matter; those in womb matter too. The life of a fetus matters no matter who takes the final decision to end it.

My main concern is the misrepresentation of the word of God in the ensuing debate. I couldn’t help but cringe at some opinions which were expressed based on faulty analyses of scripture. Two bible stories emerged in most of the discussions:

1. Onan spilling his seeds (withdrawing while having sex with Tamar)
2. God declaring that he knew Jeremiah before he formed him in his mother’s womb.

Onan’s story is quite an interesting one. He was the second son of Judah. His older brother Er was married to Tamar and he displeased the Lord so he was killed. As their custom was, Tamar was given to Onan to sleep with for her to bear a child to continue the lineage of Er. Onan knowing that the child wouldn’t be counted as his, chose to spill his seed. God killed Onan for what he did. NOTE: God didn’t kill him for merely spilling his seed, but for the implications of this act. Many times I’ve heard people use this story as the basis to condemn masturbation. Masturbation is indeed sexual sin but Onan didn’t masturbate. What he did was a deliberate act to discontinue his brother’s lineage. It is also worthy for us to note that this is the same Judah whose lineage became the tribe of Judah. Both David and Jesus came from this tribe. It is easy to tell why God had a keen interest in the affairs of this family. I can’t tell the exact reason but I am tempted to believe God’s decision to kill Onan had a lot to do with the implications of his actions on the tribe of Judah (According to Gen 38:9).

It is not right to liken what Onan did to masturbation or even abortion. A sperm is not a fetus. Therefore whatever means of birth control a man applies to prevent conception cannot be likened to abortion. Why? Because conception has not taken place yet. The male body is fashioned to naturally dispose of semen once in a while in the sleep of the said man. Is this abortion too? Does this apply to menstruation too? I get what this is all about, though. It is all because some ladies are of the view that any man who takes a stance against abortion is primarily attempting to take away a certain level of freedom from women. Also, there is this assertion that a man’s opinion is worth very little on the topic of abortion. Are we implying that one can only have an opinion on a topic when it directly affects him/her? Do we need to strip the proponent of a contrary view of his right to express it? Doesn’t that imply our assertions are weak in the face of opposition? Nobody’s view should be discredited because of his gender. That is sexism indeed.

The other bible story that has come up in this discussion is the story of Jeremiah. God told Jeremiah:

‘Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee; and before thou camest forth of the womb I sanctified thee and, I ordained thee a prophet unto the nations’

Many have misinterpreted this because they have either misquoted the verse or have truncated it to suit their interpretation. God didn’t say ‘before you were formed in the belly…’ but ‘before I FORMED THEE in the belly…’. What difference does that make? A lot! The understanding that this verse implies God knows each sperm by name and therefore when a man ‘spills his seed’ he has committed abortion is false. God formed Jeremiah in his mother’s womb. God didn’t just know him before that, he ordained Jeremiah way before he formed him in the womb. This means, that verse up there is not about identity or identification but rather predestination. The verse doesn’t mean God knows each sperm by name. It means God knows which one would eventually fertilize the egg and in this case, it was Jeremiah. So before he was a clot of blood, God had already ordained him to be a prophet unto the nations. As simple as that. Therefore abortion is the termination of that which God has formed. As Ravi Zacharias said ‘We can’t talk about human rights without the right to be human’. If your human right terminates another person’s right to be human, how many humans will be left if everybody exercised that right?

There are so many push factors when it comes to abortion for eg. Poverty, stigmatization, unpreparedness etc. It is my hope that we wouldn’t lose sight of the real issue as we go on to fight these factors. Also, there should be counseling and therapy available for women who have already committed abortions. The trauma they go through is unmatched and therefore special care must be given to their psychological health.

We are all fallible. It is natural to want to deal with your mistakes lest they interrupt your plans for the future or because you can’t afford to live with the consequences. But is it right to end a life so you can live yours comfortably? I believe as many of us that read this post should try and answer this question and please share your views with me in the comment session. Thanks.

First of all, the book does things to you in a subtle way that you might not notice how slowly your views on issues are shifting. For me the book is a redefinition of the word ‘unashamed’. I had it all wrong all along. For some funny reason I feel even Lecrae had it wrong initially. I honestly thought being an unashamed Christian only meant being unapologetic about your faith. ‘Unashamed’ for me meant ‘unembarrassed’. It felt like a tag I could wear boldly on my chest in a world where it isn’t too cool to be Christian. I had it all wrong. From the book, I learnt that being unashamed meant not being afraid to accept your vulnerability and the fact that you are daily in dire need of a savior. Being unashamed according to the way I defined it previously puffs you up by inflating your heart with stinking pride. You can easily become judgmental if you are not careful.

You know how we often quote the parts of the verses we like and leave the rest out? That practice is deadly. Romans 1:16, which is the mantra of the 116 movement spearheaded by Lecrae and his cronies is one of such verses. The first part of the verse says ‘I am unashamed of the gospel…’ and this is all most of us care about. The next few words changed my understanding of the term ‘unashamed’ and put things into perspective for me. The verse goes on to say that ‘… for it (The Gospel) is the power of God unto salvation to them that believe; first to the Jew and then to the Greek’. How did I miss this part? The gospel transcends cultures. The gospel cannot be put in a cultural box. The writer of the book of Romans isn’t ashamed of the gospel because it can be as relevant and potent in any other culture as it is in the Jewish one. How did I miss this? Being unashamed doesn’t merely mean you are unembarrassed to be the only Christian in the room, it means you recognize the fact that the power of God could be as potent in other people’s lives as much as it is in yours.

Christianity is not Jewish-Culture Assimilation

I often say that ‘Christianity is not Jewish-Culture assimilation’. We are not supposed to learn and practice the way the Jews live because we are Christians. We are free to express our faith in God in our cultural context. It has already been proven from scripture in the previous paragraph that the gospel transcends cultures, but here is the thing, the gospel doesn’t walk on its two feet from place to place. Jesus knew that. That is why he sent his disciples on their mission trips and instructed them to make disciples of all nations (cultures). This sounds to me like a command to depart from your comfort zone and mingle with cultures you are not too familiar with while proselytizing. Remember the gospel is the power of God first to the Jew and then to the Greek? For some reason the Jews – I am using ‘Jews’ here metaphorically – are too proud to accept a gospel that transcends cultures. They want it to be for them and them alone. Is it not a shame that Jesus had more problems with ‘Church folks’ than with unbelievers? Is it not a shame that Lecrae is experiencing the same thing in 2016? Why is he getting flak for addressing social issues? Many people don’t understand that he is doing the exact same thing that the apostles did – especially Paul. If the gospel must influence people of all cultures, the work will be done when men avail themselves to be used. To me this is what Lecrae – together with the many like him – is doing. He is a man so definitely he isn’t flawless but all that matters is he is accepted by God.

So the biggest lesson I picked up while reading the book is in Page 101. The lesson is built on a discussion Jesus once had with his disciples. He asked them who men thought he was and went on to ask who they (his disciples) thought he was. Simon said, ‘You are the Christ, the Son of the Living God’. Jesus was so astounded by Simon’s answer that he replied, ‘Thou art Peter, and upon this rock I will build my church; and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it’. The rock on which Jesus said he would build his church is in the response that Peter gave. Christ was only saying that the foundation of his church would be this revelation: that he (Christ) is the Son of the living God. Coincidentally ‘Peter’ also means rock. Therefore many assume Jesus was saying he would build his church using Peter as the foundation. Nope! Jesus was playing on words by mentioning ‘Peter’ and then going on to say ‘the rock’ in the same sentence. Jesus was dropping punchlines on the disciples and I can’t even tell if they got it.

Anyway, the lesson is in what Jesus said. He was going to build his church and the gates of hell would not prevail against it. Initially I thought this meant something else. Maybe ‘gates’ there was used metaphorically to represent the tricks of the devil. That doesn’t even make sense and I just didn’t pay attention to it enough to rethink it. Gates keep people out of a specific location. Lecrae said it best, ‘Gates are not weapons; they don’t attack people or things. They are defenses.’ How many times haven’t we heard that the devil is on the attack? Which is true anyway. But if Jesus said he was going to build a church so strong the gates of hell could not stand against it, it means he is building a church that is on the offensive. A church that is entering hell to snatch anything that is redeemable. This reminds me of the verse in Psalm 24 which says that ‘Lift up your heads O ye GATES and be ye lifted up ye everlasting doors and let the King of Glory come in.’ This is what Jesus is talking about. ‘Hell’ here doesn’t mean the place of damnation in eternity but every place, country, industry, field of study, career, establishment, movement etc. that the devil is holding people captives in. The gates of that hell will not prevail against the church that Jesus has built. We are on the offensive Church! If the movie industry is glorifying the works of Satan, we need Christians there. Just a few weeks ago I watched an interview of Mel Gibson in which he said ‘I made the ultimate superhero movie when I made the Passion of the Christ’. That’s what I’m talking about! You say hip hop is too profane, misogynistic etc. cool. We need somebody from the church to step in and let his light shine away the gloom. Big ups to Lecrae for the work he is doing. ‘Oh rap battles on the streets is way too crass and profane’, well that’s the reason why we have Street Hymns actively battling without cussing or using violent language. He laces each verse with biblical allusions so beautifully. How cool is that? ‘This will not have much impact’, you might say. But wait for it. Wait until a whole bunch of people start testifying to how their lives are being changed because some Christians refused to remain defensive and are rather on the offensive to reach out to the lost souls and the perverted art forms.

At the end of the day I am just happy with what Lecrae is doing. I don’t even agree with everything he says or does but I look up to the guy. Sometimes I hop onto Lecrae’s instagram and facebook pages just to read the insults rained on him by Christians. It is all too pathetic. His latest single ‘Can’t Stop Me Now’ highlights how depressed he has been over some of the comments that people pass concerning stuff they know nothing about. Shame on us! Would it not be much more beneficial if you went on your knees and said a prayer for the man? It is easy to see the flaws of one standing in the spotlight so be very gracious in your criticism. Because one of these days you will stand in the grandest spotlight before a cloud of witnesses in heaven and you won’t be judged by how much you pointed out others’ mistakes, but by what you did. May you not be found wanting.

Therefore I sat before the vetting committee and timidly refused to take up the opportunity to serve God in a higher capacity. Very few things I have experienced in my entire life can be compared to the emotional roller coaster I went through afterward. I felt I had disappointed my superiors. I felt like a coward for choosing the easy way out. Most traumatizing of all, I felt I had disappointed my Maker. But hey, God makes all things beautiful in His own time, doesn’t he? All things work together for the good of those who love God, don’t they? Fast-forward, my roommates and I signed up to attend the Berea Bible Academy that semester. The meeting times of the Bible Academy would have clashed with the meeting times of the executives of my campus ministry. Basically, I couldn’t have attended classes at Berea (as we affectionately called it) had I accepted the nomination. The Berea Bible Academy was such a blessing to me that nobody can convince me God hadn’t purposed it for me at that point in my life. I owe so much of my knowledge of scripture to Berea. Anytime I look back, I think to myself, so what if I had accepted the nomination? Would I have pleased man, my ego, or my God? Was it my calling to be promoted to a higher position or to attend the Berea Bible Academy? Your guess is as good as mine.

Not all “God-sized” visions are from God. Many are from a god-sized ego, and have no claims on God’s provision.

— JR Vassar (@jrvassar) August 18, 2016

The conversation that ensued between Jesus and the woman at the well is one that has enormous relevance to various aspects of our walk with God. Jesus’ response to the woman’s question, for example, is one that carries so much weight. He told her there was a time coming when the true worshipers of God would worship God in SPIRIT and in TRUTH. Often we stress the part that requires us to worship God in spirit. This simply means nothing physical – geographical location, artifacts, paraphernalia, etc. – should determine the quality of our worship. I don’t have to travel from Ghana to Jerusalem to offer worship to God anymore. It used to be like that though. However, we mostly turn a blind eye to the second part that suggests we must worship God in TRUTH. To worship God in truth means to worship God in sincerity and in all honesty. Since worship and sacrifice are synonymous in Christianity, it means we must offer our acts of worship or sacrifice to God in sincerity. Therefore, do not sign up for a task that you cannot do and later resign.

No man, having put his hand to the plough, and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God – Luke 9:62

Remember Ananias and Saphira? This is exactly what killed them. They pledged to offer God the full amount of the property they sold. So when they withheld a certain portion of the whole amount, it cost them their lives. What if they had pledged to give half of the amount they sold the property for and redeemed the pledge? Would they have died? Certainly not! All I am saying is, DO NOT BITE MORE THAN YOU CAN CHEW. I am in no way promoting sluggishness or laziness when it comes to working for the Lord. All I am saying is, in all sincerity, take up the tasks that you can do and trust in the Grace of God to empower you to do it. It is better this way than to opt to work for God in a certain capacity that your faith won’t allow you to trust God enough to see you through. Our walk with God is based on faith. The just shall live by faith and without faith, it is impossible to please God. We all don’t have the same level of faith. Therefore, if the complexity of the task you desire to do is too much for your faith in GOD to carry you through it, just let it go… maybe for a later time. 

I still have a feeling most people might misinterpret what I have said so far, so here is another reference. In Numbers 11, Moses encountered this very problem. He was leading a rebellious generation of 600,000+ men on foot. They murmured and challenged his leadership every chance they got. One man leading 600,000+ men was certainly more meat in his mouth than he could chew. After Moses complained bitterly, God instructed him to select 70 elders from the tribes of Israel and the Lord himself took of the spirit that was upon Moses and placed it on the 70 also. Imagine the relief that Moses felt. It means he was doing the work of 71 men all that while and didn’t even know it. The stress! 

Undue fame, exposure, and recognition can kill you. That is how David orchestrated the death of Uriah. He ordered that Uriah be positioned at the place where the battle was fiercest. Usually, the soldiers who fight in that position are the ones who come back home with ample stories to tell of their heroic deeds. Uriah wasn’t qualified to be fighting in that position. Nevertheless, it is sad that in his case he couldn’t have declined the order because it was a decree from the king. But here is a typical example of what I have been saying all along. He was killed because he got promoted. In fact, he was promoted to be killed. All was lost because the spotlight was placed on him. God doesn’t call the qualified, He qualifies the called. 

God cares for your soul as much as he cares for the souls he will save through you. This is why sometimes we see very anointed men and women of God serving in lower capacities (than WE would expect them to) or away from the public eye. Stephen is a typical example of this. He was chosen together with 6 others to serve food on tables to widows. He was assigned to serve food like a waiter. Meanwhile, the bible describes him as  “… a man full of faith and of the Holy Spirit”. Yet he was ordered to serve food on tables. Stephen was the first martyr ever! The first person to be killed for his faith in God after the death of Christ. His knowledge of scripture was impeccable (Check out his speech to the Sanhedrin in Acts 7). He understood the things of God and operated in spiritual gifts. Still, he was assigned to serve food on tables.

If you’re desiring for God to grow your platform… just understand what you’re really asking is to increase your capacity to serve others.

— Ezekiel Azonwu (@wordsbyezekiel) August 16, 2016

Not every opportunity to minister in a certain capacity is the will of God for you. Sometimes we accept these opportunities to tickle our egos. We may have genuine reasons why we would want to serve God in a higher capacity, but we need to understand that a higher capacity is just more grounds to serve more people.

How will you know if an opportunity to serve God in a certain capacity comes from God himself? I believe one sure way to know this is when you don’t desire to get noticed, recognized, or rewarded by a man for your work in that capacity. In all this, it is imperative to trust that God can promote any and everyone and still work on them to fit into that position. Would you still do what you do if you wouldn’t get noticed by men? Knowing that your father who sees you in secret will reward you openly is enough motivation to serve God in any capacity. It is the motive of your actions that matter and not how visible they are to man.

References: Numbers 11, Acts 6 and 7 and John 4

Sometimes showmanship is the evidence of the absence of legitimacy

You have to understand that this happened so many years ago – maybe between 2003 and 2005. I still remember the quote because I have applied it to so many areas of life and time and time again it proves to be so true. The reality the quote discloses best describes how I feel about sex tapes. Guy, if you were having legitimate sex, there wouldn’t be a need to tape it to show it to your boys as proof of anything. It is as simple as that. There is no point to prove when it is legitimate. There is absolutely no need to impress a third party if it is legitimate. Usually, people tend to show off when what they are doing isn’t permissible. I have a few married friends and they need not send me a video tape of what they do under the sheets because I already know they do it – rightfully and ‘legally’. There have been stories of married couples taking videos of themselves while at it. It doesn’t concern anybody what married people choose to do in their bedrooms. It only becomes an issue if they carelessly let it slip into the hands of a third party. Now back to the point I was making, since society has managed to deceive many into thinking sex is a precious thing only smart guys can steal from girls, why won’t boys want to show unquestionable proof when they do achieve that ‘feat’? I have heard so many stories of guys lying to their friends that they slept with a particular girl. Since the first of such stories was found out to be a lie, the brethren sat down to develop a new strategy: a way to produce evidence that would silence all doubts. Ladies and gentlemen, that is how sex tapes came about.  

‘Sex tape’ is a genre of porn. ‘Sex tape’ is guiltless porn. ‘Sex tape’ is an amateur home-made porn. ‘Sex tape’ is porn with familiar faces. ‘Sex tape’ is unscripted-porn – so it is probably more enjoyable because you know they are not acting. Sex tapes  invoke pity – usually for the lady – therefore people think it is ok to watch it in order to express how deeply hurt they also are by the actions of the guy.

Sex tapes are worse than porn. Sex tapes are evil!

The thing about porn is, usually, the people involved signed up for it. They actually hope and fervently pray the whole world gets to see them doing whatever – for the money. With sex tapes, one party’s desire for street credibility tarnishes the image, taints the reputation and scars the other party emotionally and psychologically for life!

Well, I know there have been a few cases where the lady in the video appears very much aware the act is being taped. Not to jump to the defence of such ladies, but even if she knew, I doubt she would agree to the idea of the video going viral online. I am yet to read about a sex tape that was initiated by a girl to tarnish the image of a guy. It is always the guy. Why? Biblically, guys are held to a higher sexual purity standard than women, per my understanding of the text. (I have spoken extensively about it in this blog). Therefore until we submit to divine standards for sex and purity, we will never see the end of this.

“[M]odern science allows us to understand that the underlying nature of an addiction to pornography is chemically nearly identical to a heroin addiction.” – Dr. Jeffrey Satinover

Addiction to porn is a field of study on its own. I’m hoping God will grant me grace to talk about it sometime soon. No matter how pious a guy is, I will not be shocked if he opens up and tells me he is battling addiction to porn or has done so in the past. What would shock me is if a guy about my age, says he hasn’t ever battled porn addiction before. It is that serious. I watched a TEDx video sometime ago that changed my perception about the porn industry. The speaker defines porn as ‘visualized sex slavery/ prostitution’. He stated that most of the girls in the videos are actually doing it against their own will. There is somebody benefiting tremendously while these girls go through all the abuse in full global glare. Hence, the speaker resolved to refrain from watching porn. I certainly cannot tell how long this resolve would last, but I found his speech quite remarkable. To some extent, this information may deter somebody from watching porn for a while, because it feels like you are endorsing, encouraging and financially contributing to sex trafficking. The abusive and appalling story behind the porn flick may deter you. But what if the story isn’t that appalling? Does it mean you can watch it? This is one of the reasons why people enjoy sex tapes and actually store lots of them in folders on their PCs. The story behind most sex tapes is that of payback or revenge – which makes it ‘exciting’ to watch. Some jilted lover’s attempt at getting back at his ex he still sleeps with. Some guys actually team up to do it. Yo, it is so not cool. The internet never forgets. One day it will all come back to haunt you.

• Let’s not share the videos when they come out. The director of the sex tape, the viewer and the sharer are all voluntary promoters of this genre of porn. You are very much a part of the problem if you watch and share the videos.
• Let’s not allow ourselves to be taped no matter how deeply we think we are in love. The lady in the first sex tape that was ever made, thought she was in love too.
• There is a reason why bathroom windows are small and way up the wall. In fact, it is not love if he/she is asking for nudes and perv stuff like that.

I can’t trust the conscience of a human being. It takes a higher power and force to keep us all in check. What can end this menace? I don’t know. One thing I know is, you have no business stripping before anybody who hasn’t vowed before the Lord to live with you till death. Safety first, stay pure.   

‘I have never seen the General vulnerable to any situation. He is always in control’

Fatima told me once. Well neither had I, until it was my turn on the duty roster to clean his house. I spent a week and some days doing everything he asked me to. He didn’t speak much. The sharp contrast between who he was outside his house and his personality indoors was staggering. I came to the realization that he was human after all; and that was like a groundbreaking discovery for me.

He always drove me out of the room when he received a telephone call.

‘Nobody is allowed to remain in the HQ when I am on the phone’, he would say.

On the last day of my assignment to the General’s house, he received a call by his bedside while I was sitting on the floor dusting the numerous pairs of boots under the bed. He knew I was still there but strangely, he received the call anyway. Whoever was on the other end of the line seemed far more powerful than General Abubakar. After saying ‘hello’, the General froze and stared out the window as if he was having an out-of-body experience. Then he attempted to speak a few times, but the words came out incomplete. It was clear he was being cut-off by the caller with  every attempt he made at speaking. Finally, as if given the go-ahead now, he started mentioning cities in the Northern parts of Nigeria and some figures:

‘In Kano, 20. Maiduguri, 12. Kaduna, 11….’.  He choked for a while and then went on to say ‘No, we are not wasting your money Sir, we haven’t been too successful in our latest attacks because the government forces have been a thorn in our flesh’.

Sir? The General had a boss? The whole conversation began to make sense to me at that point. Those numbers he was mentioning were the death tolls from their recent attacks. I had already heard the numbers; I had heard them from the stories the militants told us when they arrived at the camp after each invasion. So I knew. Had the death tolls been lesser, I wouldn’t be any less devastated than I was already. Apparently, ‘Sir’ wasn’t too pleased by the small number of people losing their lives to Boko Haram invasions in the past weeks. He should have been there to see the militants gloat over their kills like some village boys retelling the story of their snail-catching expedition.

I wanted to know who ‘Sir’ was. I wanted to know the person whose voice made General Abubakar stroll back and forth in his own room with less confidence than even I would. I wanted to know who it was that was throwing money behind the terrorists. I really wanted to know. Was he the same person behind those trucks that marched into the camp at midnight almost every fortnight to deliver guns and all kinds of weaponry to the militants? All those sophisticated machines and cameras stashed away in boxes inside the General’s house, who bought them?

The revelation I had after eavesdropping on that telephone conversation left me more petrified. It was like a door had been opened right before me, revealing who the real enemy was, only that he was faceless. The deception of terrorism is that we often loath the puppets parading themselves on the internet and on the news without thinking who could possibly be the puppeteer. ‘Sir’ could be taking a stroll on a beach at Hawaii. He could be walking in the midst of the horde on the sidewalks of New York City or jogging with his dog down a sandy path in Saudi Arabia. Whoever he was or wherever he lived, we should all be scared because he is faceless. If ‘Sir’ was that nasal voice on the phone that could make even General Abubakar look like he needed to use the bathroom, then we should all be really scared.  I just couldn’t come to terms with the fact that a worse-than-the-General walked freely somewhere on God’s green earth yet the General was in the news because he posted videos on YouTube proudly claiming responsibility for every Boko Haram invasion. They are fooling us all. What hope do you have in a war when you don’t know the real enemy? The guy who claims to be behind the evil acts of Boko Haram is actually a front. That is very scary!

Early the next morning after the telephone incident, the militants came into our tents to wake us up. They came wielding assault rifles as if preparing for a war or another invasion. We would have known if they were about to embark on another attack. Before they left the camp for any attack, they were always taken through a series of rituals. I couldn’t tell whether the rituals were for fortification or a preparation for death – seeing that their whole psyche was conditioned to accept death for a ‘holy’ cause. Then out comes the Babalawo from nowhere. None of us had ever laid eyes on him on any ordinary day in the camp. However, the day before every Boko Haram attack, he would appear and lead the jihadists through a series of rituals. The atmosphere was extremely charged by their chanting and dancing. Baba blew white powder over each of them while hopping and throwing himself about as if possessed. He had this eerie appearance. He was barely clothed by the animal skin he threw over his left shoulder. Anytime I saw him, I made funny mental pictures of his appearance, because I felt he was too small to be of any spiritual use. A beaded dark imp was what I often pictured in my head. His whole demeanor spelled evil. The beads on baba’s wrists and waist rattled abruptly with each step he took and that made it easy to notice his presence even while we were half-asleep. Sometimes at night we could hear him reciting incantations outside our tent.

So it was obvious the militants weren’t preparing for another invasion. I was amongst the 30 girls selected and forced to get dressed as quickly as possible. We were packed in the bed of one of the big trucks. The truck took off right after the General took his seat in the front. It was quite a nostalgic moment for me when we drove through the gates: I was reminded of how they brought us in. We were driven to a secluded part of the forest where the grass was ankle-height. The militants went about setting up cameras, hoisting their flags and posing with their guns in front of the camera. Within a few minutes we were all before the camera. The General gave a lengthy speech about selling some of us into slavery and how his aim was to establish a caliphate in the northern parts of Nigeria. Even the Boko haram militants were oblivious to the main reason why the General was making those claims in the video. But, I knew it. It was all just a ploy to remain relevant in world terrorism. He had to do something to salvage his fading image as a sadistic terrorist leader. He wanted to get into the good books of ‘Sir’ again. Pathetic!

Fatima crept into our tent that very night and slapped me on my back to wake me up. She whispered in my ears:

‘Isa, has agreed to help us escape. He will be here at 12 am. Stay awake. I’ll come for you’.

‘Ok’

I kept my eyes open for the next 5 minutes. I needed to stay awake to mentally process what had just happened. First of all, I was the one who was always talking about escaping. So if there was ever a plan to escape, I had to be the one to initiate it. The Lord knows how much I had to fight to maintain my relationship with Fatima because of the number of times I spoke about escaping. She simply didn’t want to hear it.

‘It wasn’t worth it’, she often said. I couldn’t blame her though. She had been a witness to the execution of so many girls and even militants who attempted to escape. The terror of those scenes had crippled her. To her, the mesh fence surrounding the camp was rather imaginary but the terror and confinement she felt from within were shackles she couldn’t shake off. This same Fatima was the one initiating our escape. How she got to convince Isa to be of help, I couldn’t tell. Isa was the water tanker driver; he sometimes drove into the camp with a truckload of drums filled with water too. I knew Fatima had an amorous relationship with him to some extent. She told me how he often expressed disgust at the activities of Boko Haram. Isa was driving the water tanker purely for the money and not out of principle. He was vehemently opposed to terrorism – but he needed the money. So it wasn’t much of a surprise that he was the one assisting us in our escape. What would make a man want to put his life on the line for two captives? We didn’t deserve any of this. I feared for his life because even if we were successful with our escape, he would be going back to the camp every other week to deliver drums of water. They might trace our escape to him and he would be executed. He of all people should have known this. And if the reality of that didn’t deter him, then nothing else would.

I must have dozed off. Fatima with her baby strapped to her back came calling again. I didn’t pick anything. We stepped out of the tent and there they were crowded around the truck. They were offloading the drums. I pulled at Fatima’s dress and told her ‘let’s go back inside, they will see us’. Apparently, she had a plan. We stood frozen in front of our tent, all that while Fatima looked away from the militants standing around the truck and focused her attention on the two conversing in front of the empty drums arranged a few feet away from the truck. I wanted to go back in. We would have been severely punished for staying up that late not to talk of standing outside the tent. When Fatima whispered ‘let’s go’ I knew it was time to run because of the urgency in her voice. The two militants had walked away so we ran towards the empty drums. The rest of them were standing at the opened end at the back of the truck. Our only option was to climb up from the side. Fatima let me go first. She unstrapped her baby from her back, handed her to me and then she joined us a while after. The two of us squatted in the midst of the empty drums while the militants packed more into the bed of the truck.

The engine of the truck started. The drums were shaking and knocking against each other. There was nothing to hold onto. Nevertheless, we remained still till the truck left the camp. Then Fatima stood up and span the lid of one of the drums open. In a single leap I entered the drum, Fatima handed her sleeping baby to me first and then she climbed into the drum slowly.  

‘Today is the happiest day of my life’

‘Ada, Me too oo’, Fatima responded.

She left the lid halfway open to let in some air. I thought of Mariama and the other girls and how I would miss them. But nothing could be compared to the sweet taste of freedom. We were crammed up in a drum, but we knew we were freer than we had ever been in the last few months.

The family is the oldest human institution and also the seed from which every other institution sprouts. This makes the family a very important body in the society. Among the things that make any institution thrive, the following are paramount: love, respect, hard work, understanding and role-playing. The last of which is my focus in this post.

In a typical Ghanaian home a 100 or more years ago, the father was probably a hunter, the mother was a stay-home mum and the children assist the parent of their gender. It makes perfect sense, if you ask me. In those days, the duties of wives were mainly to provide food, clean, sweep, nurture the children etc. because they were usually not involved in any economic venture. Husbands did all the work to make the family financially sound. Once again, I will say that this makes perfect sense. But times have changed. Women are actively involved in economic ventures now and are raking huge sums of money every month; sometimes even more than their husbands. A husband who is the CEO of a multinational company could be married to a woman who is a medical doctor by profession. The question is, does it mean the duties of wives at home need to be revised?

I believe the roles of both husband and wife should be revised. I know in Marriage Counselling men are advised to lend a helping hand with chores at home. I lean more towards this assertion. I have heard men with my own two ears state emphatically that they will do no such thing. It is like they can’t imagine themselves in the kitchen, whipping up something for the entire family. This brings me to the focus of this post: what exactly do wives expect their husbands to do at home? Women weren’t born with cooking and cleaning genes, men weren’t born with working genes either. This is even more evident in the way women have swarmed the corporate world in the last few decades. There is still much room for improvement though. Back to the question, what do wives expect their husbands to do at home? For most men, it isn’t the idea of doing something around the house that they find repulsive, but the fact that it has to  – of a necessity – be cooking and cleaning.

Socialization is society’s way of programming human beings for life. It is hard to change roles when you were made to think that you are hard-wired to do just that. Nevertheless, it is possible.

A lot of people are of the view that cooking and cleaning are the only chores in every home. This is so wrong! If it takes only cooking and cleaning to maintain the sanity, safety and well-being of family members then I dare say we have belittled what it means to be parents. I don’t ever remember seeing my dad in the kitchen cooking. Does that make him a lazy man who overburdened his wife and kids to work like donkeys? Before you pass any judgment, let me tell you a little story. In the community I grew up in, my dad was arguably one of the most hardworking men around. Not in terms of his job, but chores. You wouldn’t expect a Pharmacist with a very busy schedule as his to do the stuff he did. I grew up in Koforidua and my dad had a garden in front of the house and a farm behind the boys’ quarters. Oh yeh, he put the ‘farmer’ in Pharmacist. He planted maize and cassava. I didn’t quite get it at the time though, but lessons in Agricultural Science in Junior High School revealed that that system of farming was called Mixed Cropping. I was the type of child to throw baby tantrums anytime I was given work to do. That demon has long left me; it was beaten and caned out of me *insert your Amens here*. But one chore that my brother and I couldn’t wait to do was breaking off withered corn stalks after the harvest. We would do this every time in a faux action scene of one of the Chinese movies we used to watch. Kicking and punching at the sinister accomplices of the most evil antagonist standing before us as withered corn stalks. It was fun. Now, that was Koforidua and having a farm at the back of your house was a common practice. When we moved to Tema, guess what the old man did… he made another farm. This time, a smaller one because the soil was sandy and our backyard was smaller. My dad initiated all general cleanings at home. He was brutal towards any of us who appeared reluctant to participate in it. My question is, does such a husband still have to actively work in the kitchen to prove himself a hard-working fellow? Is the kitchen the only place where there is work to be done in the home?

Chores are not gender-specific but honestly there are some chores that come more easy to  people of a particular gender. This is not because of our biological makeup – as some people would be irritated by this if it were so. It is simply by socialization: the way we were brought up. It is very cool and helpful on his part, if the husband cooks in the house. Per the way most of us were brought up, our female counterparts are better cooks than we are. So, which is the more reasonable approach, to get all men to start learning how to cook now or to have them actively involved in the things that require masculine strength at home? The latter is more reasonable. I don’t need to quote any literature to buttress the point that men are physically stronger than women. It is an observable fact. Hence, wouldn’t men be more suited to do the things that their strengths can afford them the luxury of doing? If we are to remove the demarcations and say that since no one is born with a specific gene to do some chores men and women should not specialize, that would wreak havoc in the family. I don’t know about other guys, but I know there is something about the picture of my wife washing her own car I find off. I can’t picture my wife ‘spidermanning’ her way up a ladder to the roof to fix the TV pole because she wants to watch her favorite telenovela. I can’t sit, with folded arms and watch the woman of my life sink a few nails into the spine of a broken door in her bid to fix it. Why should a husband allow his wife’s palms to blister away into hardness because she was weeding with a cutlass while he made supper in the kitchen?  If you didn’t cringe at any of these scenarios, then I must admit there is something wrong with me because I did… and ever so emphatically. It is not even a matter of which chore is demeaning, it is a matter of which one comes easy to whom.

When it comes to gender, I am not conclusive in my views as it is a very touchy subject and a controversial one. You could touch raw nerves by passing a loose comment about women these days – and rightly so. I just wish we would dialogue more and accept that marriage has some dynamics that don’t accommodate stiff rules that cannot be bent or turned to favor both parties every now and then. Plus, what works for one couple may cause a divorce in another. Hence, the two parties involved should sit and decide who does what in the home.  

I recently discovered the importance of movies produced in the Kumawood movie industry in my life. Those films were created purely to make my journey from Accra to Kumasi seem shorter. Last week on my way to Kumasi, we watched a 3-part movie starring ‘Lil Win’. Goodness me, the supposed 4 and a half hour journey felt like a jolly ride through town on a holiday. One other outstanding feature of Kumawood movies that I like is the fact that  they are highly didactic: so pregnant with moral lessons. I remember watching one in which Agya Koo was a co-tenant with a lady in a compound house. He kept pestering the young lady with his ‘lust’ overtures. Clearly the lady had had enough and couldn’t take his lustful proposals anymore so she confronted him and made it clear that it was wrong to even fantasize about having sex with another person. In his defense, Agya Koo gladly confessed that then he had probably had a baby with the lady already. This was obviously because he must have visualized having sex with her on countless occasions.  I found his reply extremely funny but it carries so much information concerning male-sexuality. Men are visual beings. We are moved by sight. Nevertheless, what we see isn’t a good enough reason to be used to defend our actions. Usually when this issue comes up, we choose to lay the blame on external factors (eg. skimpy dresses worn by ladies). The external factors have an influence on you but what pushes the resultant action is within you. As I have already stated in  my blog post ‘Depraved Hearts Caged in Ribs 2‘ click here, those external factors are like billboards in front of a restaurant, displaying sumptuous meals. Therefore if anybody should break into a restaurant to steal food and blame it on the food on the billboard, he is giving a very silly excuse. The problem isn’t the billboard, the problem is your lack of self-control. When you see a very compelling advertisement and you happen to be very hungry, what you do is to control your hunger. Or if you can, you pay the price and wait patiently till the meal is ready for consumption.

My focus here isn’t what you saw, but rather what happens between the moment you spotted that lady and the resultant action: the time gap between those two events. That is the cause of sexual immorality in most men. I strongly believe that the eyesight of men is second to that of eagles in terms of sharpness. Eagles are able to see small rodents from beyond the clouds but the eyes of men are laser-sharp and can see through clothes. We can literally strip you naked with our eyes. It is all in the mind. Our imagination runs wild the very moment there is a cleft in your dressing that exposes the minutest detail of your naked body. That is all we need to have a full picture.

Jesus Christ said that anybody who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her. My dear brothers, how many babies have you made in your life and with how many women? Agya Koo was right bro. Some of us are probably well into parenting, if his analogy is applied here. I believe Jesus was making it clear to us how important our imagination is: the fact that imagining a thing is recorded as committing it. We need to win the battle in our minds. That is the birth place of all the sexual immorality we hear about. If we are able to dispel those episodes of unbelievable imaginative sex with whomever we deem appropriate at that moment, we would really make headway in keeping our head above water so far as sexual immorality is concerned. Undoubtedly, Solomon is one of the wisest men to walk the face of the earth. He said ‘… he who rules his spirit is mightier than he who takes a city’. This is amazing. It means self-control basically makes you more than a marvel superhero. It makes you mightier than a strongman who is able to take a whole city all by himself. We really need more men striving to be strong men per the deduction made from Solomon’s quote. To have full control over your sexuality as a man is one heck of a herculean task. The mighty have fallen. The irony here is that, Solomon himself, who even made such a profound statement couldn’t control his sexual hunger. He married 700 women (plus 300 concubines) from tribes God had warned him against. They introduced him to their gods and he turned away from God and worshiped their gods. Yes, the women were instrumental in his downfall but his hunger gave him the impetus to oblige.

When I say ‘Zip it’ I am not referring to the fly in front of your trousers. That is way too easy. I am referring to your mental fly. I want you to realize that just as it is embarrassing for your fly to be open in public, so it is for you to have an untamed sexual appetite. Zip it! Take full control of yourself mentally and sexually. For greater is he that rules his spirit than he who takes a city.

References: Proverbs 16: 32 , 1Kings 11.

These are just spiders anyway; hence they do not have to grapple with gender issues like humans. If this were to happen amongst humans, it would be a media sensation. Heads would roll and laws would spring up involuntarily from the depths of legal archives to put the perpetrators away for good. Maybe we would also start our own movement. We might just call it MALELISM: a movement for the brothers. But no, in the real world, it is the other way round. Women are being treated badly. Sometimes it is not even the actions against women that worry me the most, it is the sort of condescending opinions and prejudices people hold. Those really appall me because it means deeply seated within their hearts are these perceptions which will inform every action in their dealings with women. This gave rise to Feminism. A worthy cause; and like all worthy causes, it will not stand or be successful without the active participation of both sexes. I repeat, Feminism will not stand without the active participation of both sexes; because patriarchy wouldn’t have been this successful without the active involvement of both sexes. Over the years the image of the movement has been tainted. Most men would want to have nothing to do with it or to be associated with it. It may be due to several other reasons, but I believe that paramount amongst those reasons is the attitude of feminists. The belligerence and the venom in their speech totally deter men from participating in anything related to Feminism. How do you fight negativity with negativity?

Gender equality is a myth. I wonder why I never thought about it until recently. If this remains at the core of Feminism, I would like to state emphatically that it will end up empowering men rather than women. What is the yardstick that indicates equality with men; same number of men and women in parliament? To be a man is not that pleasant anyway so I wonder why equality with men seems to be deemed so highly. Women must fight for what is theirs. We have no idea what a fair society looks like: a fair society being one that gives what women deserve to them. We may never see it if the goal of our women is to have what we have as men and neglect what is due them. For all you know, what is due women could possibly outweigh that which society seems to have given to men. Society is made up of male and female members. I see society as a giant 2-pieced jig-saw puzzle. What people do not realize is that the call for Gender Equality is like shaping the edges of the two pieces of the puzzle the same way – making them identical pieces. That seems like a fair action, but it is highly unreasonable (that is, if piecing the pieces together is our motive). When you shape the edges the same way, they won’t fit. But this is what Gender Equality is seeking to achieve. How I wish women would understand their place and value. How I wish they would realize how blessed they are and embrace their uniqueness. Men and women are equal and different. The right and left arms belong to one individual but they are different because of their location. This is it. So for the left arm to start a movement to achieve equality with the right is rather absurd, because it is already an arm too. Nevertheless, if the left realizes that it is being treated badly, it has every right to speak out and with the assistance of the right hand justice will be served. I am not the only one who holds this assertion. The bible also makes it clear that women and men are both equal and different. In 1Peter 3:7, it says:

‘Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as THE WEAKER VESSEL, SINCE THEY ARE HEIRS WITH YOU of the grace of life…’

The verse above indicates the difference between men and women by the phrase ‘…the weaker vessel’. Simply put, compared to men, women are weaker (physically) and must be treated as such. The verse states the equality of both sexes by saying ‘… since they are heirs with you…’. Meaning, in the sight of God we are equal. Paul put it better when he said ‘in Christ there is neither MALE nor FEMALE’. From this we can infer that God looks down and sees a sexless humanity. No wait, God looks down and sees a sexless humanity, except that a section is advocating equality that is already glaring in the sight of God. Gender Equity (it might not make semantic sense) would rather be appropriate. Where we understand our sameness and uniqueness hence we give each person his or her due. Especially the basics of this life: choices, good education, health, respect, fair representation at gatherings etc.

We teach little girls to be better than their male counterparts. We hide this message in the cliché ‘what a man can do a woman do better’. It is unfortunate that there are people who hold this assertion. Who said being better than the men around you is equal to success? Right away we are implying that little girls would have to fight to do better than their male counterparts in order to feel fulfilled. What if she is surrounded by poor performing male counterparts? Does she attain success in life by merely being better than them? This is the height of insecurity. We should let little girls know that being good is good enough. They need not feel like they are in a competition with boys. We should let them know the only competition is their previous performance; hence they must move heaven and earth to beat that. We live in a right-handed society. Our aim is to make it ambidextrous. Ambidexterity will not be achieved by demeaning the right hand; it can only be achieved by empowering the left hand to be strong and improve. Right-handed people can get away with things like writing and eating but when it comes to bathing or cleaning themselves they cannot do it properly without the aid of the left hand. Similarly, when it comes to washing or ridding our society of irksome patriarchy, we need both hands to play a major role. How do these two come to work together in harmony when the left is hurling abusive words in the direction of the right?

I believe feminism is a worthy cause that men need to play an active role in. Gender Equality on the other hand stems from insecurity. There is no need to be equal when you are uniquely designed to fit together. Society is a giant 2-pieced jig-saw puzzle; society is supposed to be ambidextrous; one hand down-playing the importance of the other will do it no good.