Out of the 70, there was the “12”. In Luke 6:12-16, we are told that Jesus spent all night praying before he selected the 12 out of the 70. They are the most popular disciples of Jesus because the New Testament makes mention of their names and tells us stories about their ministries. Even some New Testament books were written by some of them, about the details of some events of their ministries and even named after them. They were the ones to whom the promise of the coming of the Holy Spirit was made and they waited for it together with other believers in the upper room. These ones walked more closely with Jesus. Anytime he would speak a parable to the people, he would explain it to them privately. It was to these 12 that Jesus said he would no longer call ‘servants’ but ‘friends’ (John 15:15).

Out of the 12, there was “the 3”: Peter, James, and John who seemed to be closer to Jesus than the rest. He often separated these 3 from the 12 for special assignments. For instance, when he went up the mount of transfiguration, he took these 3 along and charged them not to share the events of that day with anyone else. In Gethsemane too, he told the rest of the disciples to wait for him while he went further with Peter, James, and John. Then he went further ahead to pray alone.

Out of the 3, there was John. John in his own epistle called himself “the disciple whom Jesus loved”. In John 13:25, it was said that he leaned back against Jesus or rested his head on his chest. That’s how close he was to the Messiah. It is not surprising at all that he was the only one amongst the disciples of Christ who was present at the foot of the cross of Jesus. Also, when Jesus resurrected from the grave, he wanted to have a private word with Peter so he asked Peter to follow him. Peter noticed that John was coming along too and he expected Jesus to disallow John from following them. On the contrary, Jesus didn’t, he actually went on to ask Peter that “if it is my will that he remain until I come, what is that to you? You follow me” (John 21:22). 

What greatly intrigues me here is that all (but one) of Jesus’ disciples abandoned him at some point in their walk with him. Once, Jesus taught about the communion and mentioned that unless the people eat of his flesh and drink of his blood, they didn’t have life. This was a hard message for some of his disciples to receive and so that was the day they left him and only the “12 disciples” remained. But even 11 out of the 12 disciples were not present at the foot of the cross. 

1. Judas had already committed suicide because of the guilt he felt after betraying Jesus. 
2. The remaining 10 had gone into hiding, leaving only John at the foot of the cross with the women. Jesus turned to him while he was on the cross and committed Mary, his mother, to his care. 

Let us never forget that Jesus had a lot of people around him, however, they left him when things got hard. When his message was too hard for them to accept, they left. When he was arrested, they left. He even said that “have I not chosen 12 of you and one of you is the devil?” in reference to Judas (John 6:70). Out of the 12 apostles Jesus prayed and hand-picked, he was betrayed by 2, Peter and Judas. This is a simple message to us: people will disappoint you and betray you, even people who came into your life by some divine orchestration. If it happened to Jesus, then we must understand that it can happen to us as well. But when Jesus resurrected, he appeared to the very people who had left his side during the hardest moment of his life here on earth. He came after them. Which means he had forgiven them even before they could have the opportunity to ask him for it. 

Let us also learn to segment our relationships just like Jesus did. There were things he told the 3, that the 12 didn’t know about. There was something he told John(as stated above) that he never told any of the other apostles. This is the kind of wisdom we must apply in organizing our relationships and segmenting our friends as well. Let us put people in circles, ranging from the smallest and closest circle to the biggest and farthest circle. Know where to put who.  With prayerful consideration, let us segment the people in our lives while knowing that we can still be hurt by such people no matter which circle they are in. And when that happens, let us do what Jesus did, forgive them.

The Holy Spirit drew my attention to this some time ago. How offenses are causing many to leave the church in droves. I have personally been offended by the ‘church’ before. I have had friends who have experienced this as well. And quite painfully, even members of my family have experienced this too. In my case, I felt so bad after the event. It was a series of events that happened behind the scenes and climaxed in the full glare of a section of the church. Therefore, unbeknownst to the many who witnessed my outburst, there had been a series of events that had led up to that embarrassing one. So I felt I was being judged wrongly based on the final event and perhaps I would have been judged fairly if people knew the full story. To this day … to this day I still feel like bringing it up in conversations so I can tell the full story to vindicate myself. That only goes to prove how deeply I was hurt and how much effect that incidence had on me.

How are people hurt in the church?

As I mentioned earlier the people you find in your church are not flawless people. They are people undergoing the process of perfection. The bible talks extensively about the fruit of the spirit in Galatians 5. If we all bore this fruit, there would be none offended in our midst. Christians would be too kind to intentionally offend their brethren. Again, Christians would be too patient to react in anger when they have been hurt by their brethren unintentionally or even intentionally. Love would reign in the church. Basically, this is God’s plan for the body.

“By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another” – John 13:35

Love is patient, love is kind … love is not arrogant or rude… (1st Corinthians 13)

Imagine a church where we all bore the fruit of the spirit, hence walked in love and perfection. What a lovely community that would be! I believe eventually we will get there as a church. However, that isn’t the case today. People offend intentionally and unintentionally. Others are offended way too easily and others, hardly. Below are a couple of ways that people are offended in the church today:

1. The doctrine of the church and church traditions (practices)
2. Misunderstandings or disagreements
3. Sexual, Verbal, and physical abuse
4. Discrimination and favoritism
5. Manipulation and Exploitation
6. Lack of appreciation of efforts
7. Gossip

These are only a number of ways that people are offended in and by the church. Whatever hurt you feel after having any of these experiences is valid. How you react to these things is what really matters. One may wonder if there are any traces of ‘Church hurt’ in scripture. The truth is that there are and we are going to take a look at some of these instances where the church offended individuals and in another case where there was a misunderstanding between 2 Christian leaders.

The first story is recorded in Acts 6:1-2. It is very important to note that this incidence happened in the church in the book of Acts which happens to be one of the most respected churches in church history. It turns out that when the church began to grow, the Hellenists (Greek-speaking Jews who were members of the church) complained about how the Hebrews had neglected their widows in the daily distribution of food. This is a very fair complaint. One can easily tell that the Hellenists were offended or hurt by this issue that is why they made it a point to register their displeasure to the appropriate quarters. What was the response of the leadership of the church? We are told in the subsequent verses that the 12 Apostles summoned the entire congregation and addressed the issue. They stated that it is not right that they (the apostles) should give up preaching and praying to serve tables so they would rather appoint seven people who were filled with the Holy Ghost and with wisdom to do that. Among these seven people was Stephen – the first ever Christian martyr. There are a few things we need to note in this story:

1. When the Hellenists registered their displeasure, the leadership of the church was ready to listen and make amends. They didn’t regard it as a coup attempt or as a disrespectful act against their leadership.
2. The caliber of people selected to serve tables goes to show that the leadership of the church took the complaint of the Hellenists very seriously. They specifically selected people who were filled with the Spirit of God and with wisdom to serve tables. Someone may argue that these persons were qualified enough to hold leadership positions in the church. And that may be true, however, the apostles saw the wisdom in the complaint made and decided to have some of the best Christians in the church take charge of the situation.
3. We were made to understand that this problem arose because the church was growing. Well, we were also told (in verse 7) that the church grew, even more, when the problem was resolved. Therefore, we can conclude that some of the issues in the church that bother congregants or offend them, when properly addressed and dealt with may lead to growth and stability in the church.

The second story can also be found in Acts 15 – it is the story of how Paul and Barnabas had a falling out. Prior to this incident, we were told that Paul and Barnabas had traveled from city to city spreading the Gospel. In Acts 15:36 Paul suggested to Barnabas that they should return to all the cities they had been to check up on their brethren there. From all indications, Barnabas agreed. He only wanted to go on this mission with John Mark. Paul didn’t want to go with John because on one of their trips with him to Pamphylia, John left Paul and Silas at a point. The bible says “a sharp disagreement” arose between Paul and Barnabas hence they had to part ways. Barnabas went to Cyprus with John Mark and Paul chose Silas to travel with him through Syria and Cilicia. This is how the two men of God dealt with their sharp disagreement. It may have affected their relationship but it didn’t affect their relationship with God and his work.

What do you do when the church hurts you?

In the list I made above concerning how people are offended in and by the church, I mentioned discrimination, church practices or traditions, and misunderstanding. All these can be found in the two stories above. The Hellenists were offended because it appeared the church was discriminating against widows; this was a practice in the church. Then in the case of Paul and Barnabas, we are told a sharp disagreement or misunderstanding arose between them. We can learn a lot from how these two groups of people reacted to the events.

The Hellenists registered their displeasure to the leadership of the house. This is one of the major ways of dealing with offenses in the church. The leadership of the house should practice an open-door and listening-ear policy. It is worthy of note that the Hellenists didn’t go about gossiping and spreading both truths and lies about the incident. They spoke to the leadership of the house. The reaction of the Hellenists and the attitude of the leadership of the house exhibited in their desire to cause a change should very much be encouraged in the church. Indeed, toes will be stepped on in every church no matter what. However, pragmatic steps need to be taken to heal the wounded. Did you notice the apostles didn’t want to appear as superhuman beings by adding the serving of tables to their own duties and responsibilities in the church? They appointed others to do that. This is pragmatism. Such problems require the application of the wisdom of God.

Secondly, when Paul and Barnabas couldn’t see eye to eye because of their differences, none of them abandoned their ministries. Often, people stop going to church at all because they were offended by someone or something in a particular local church they were in. In my opinion, nothing should separate us from the assembly of the saints. Anything that does that is an idol we pay obeisance to and revere more than God. And yes, holding grudges and refusing to forgive can very much be idols in the life of a believer. We need to know that God’s work must go on no matter what. If it means parting ways with some people or a church, then so be it. Because in my own opinion, some people need to leave the churches they are in to actually pursue what God has set for them. In the instance where your church’s doctrine and practices are not biblical, I suggest you reach out to the leadership of the church, if your suggestion is not heeded to you can and should leave. The bible in the new testament warns us not to entertain people who preach a false gospel.

I have also come to the conclusion that some of us deserve to be offended in the church. For the singular reason, that “… godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret, whereas worldly grief produces death” (2 Corinthians 7:10). We fill the need to be pampered and handled with soft hands. ‘Gentle Jesus, meek and mild’ flipped tables in the temple and drove some people out of the church. When you are corrected in the church for something you did wrong, you deserve that correction and it is supposed to lead you to salvation. The correction may come across as offensive sometimes – but it is good for you. There were people who were punished by the Apostles in the New Testament and I believe they did so in love because the bible says love doesn’t rejoice at wrongdoing. You cannot be offended and walk away from your local church and the body of Christ because you sinned and you were corrected. If the correction was done in love, it was meant to help you repent. The word of God is given to us for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness (2 Tim3:16). Correction in the church is very scriptural. To church leaders, you need to correct in love and not out of anger or malice.

To all who have been offended by the church before (either by a man of God or a fellow believer) do take heart. Let this not hinder you from pursuing your God-given purpose on this earth. The pain, grief, guilt … they shall all pass. We should pray to God to give us the strength to move on. Also, pray to God and ask Him to direct your path so you can get over the hurt and do that which he expects you to do. Be gracious in your actions and reactions after the incident. Bear in mind that you could have easily been the offender in another situation. As Andy Mineo said, “I hope they give me the forgiveness they are going to need one day”. I also hope you give the brethren the mercy you will need one day.

Rather than it being an indictment on the credibility of the gospel of Jesus Christ, it is a bold stamp of approval. Let me explain. One of the strongest arguments anyone can ever make for the bible is its Prophetic essence. The bible is laden with the prophetic. Past events in human history were predicted by prophets of the ancient world. Jesus himself had to fulfill about 61 prophecies (According to this article) in the Old Testament as proof that he was the promised messiah. Daniel prophesied the global reign of various kingdoms of this world and how their reigns would be succeeded by others. There are so many prophecies in the bible that have been fulfilled and evident in our day. One of such prophecies is the eruption of false prophets and teachers. Jesus said it. Paul said it. Read how John put it:

Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test whether they are of God; because many false prophets have gone out into the world. 1 John 4:1

Test all spirits. To test the credibility of anything, there must be a standardized system of measurement. To test or verify how straight a line is, you must use a ruler. To test for the alkalinity or acidity of a liquid, you use a litmus paper. To test the spirit of a prophet, the bible is that standardized testing kit. If what the prophet is doing is not biblical, he is false – as simple as that. But you know people are lazy, right? They don’t want to read and find out for themselves. One thing I have realized in my walk with God is that all he yearns for is a very strong relationship with us. God’s aim isn’t to rid your life of pain. Let me repeat this for emphasis. God’s aim isn’t to rid your life of pain. If that were the case, he would have said, ‘take up your pillows and wait for me’. Instead he said, ‘… take up your cross and follow me’. That is supposed to be painful.

This truth is even more evident in the story of Lazarus. John’s account stated clearly that Jesus loved Lazarus and his two sisters. It doesn’t make sense why Jesus would love these people so much and yet there was no sense of urgency when news of Lazarus’ sickness reached him. If Jesus’ aim was merely to rid Lazarus of physical pain, he would have set off immediately to heal him. There was a bigger plan. He waited for the situation to deteriorate to the point where ancient – and even modern – medical expertise could not save Lazarus. After resurrecting Lazarus, all the Jews that saw the miracle believed in Jesus (John11:45). That is evangelism. Do you see the actual purpose of the miracles of God? They are not intended to just tickle you or make you happy. There is a greater purpose for God’s miracles: they are to build your faith; establish your relationship with him and draw other men to him. My problem with some of these preachers is that they ‘advertise’ God – or themselves – as a quick fix for every problem. You are definitely walking away with a miracle once you encounter them.  God is not a genie. You don’t rub a lamp for his nebulous self to appear to you, ready to do your bidding like he doesn’t have a grand scheme that you are just a pawn in. I am by no means introducing you to a sadistic God who derives pleasure from the pain of his children. All I am saying, is if it took the death of one man to make salvation available to all men, then you should best believe your physical pain can be useful in making the world a better place. The financial challenges you are facing now will be the very reason for you to extend a philanthropic hand to the needy when you become wealthy; because you have been there before. For every pain you go through, God will give you boundless joy and pleasures unthinkable in heaven if you remain faithful to him. Be encouraged and be of good cheer.

Now, let’s get back to these fetish pastors. One thing that is prominent in their ministry is the glorification of Christian paraphernalia and sometimes the sale of it. The very moment a pastor or prophet exalts anything physical above God, I try not to have anything to do with him. The sale of special anointing oil; holy water; anointed handkerchiefs etc. are all not biblical.  However, it is clear from scripture that believers are admonished to use the anointing oil to pray for people and take the communion in remembrance of Christ.

The bible is rife with instances where Jesus and the apostles deflected attention from themselves or anything physical and rather pointed people to God. Jesus’ encounter with the woman at the well is an example. Jesus told her that there is a time coming where ‘the true worshipers will worship God in spirit and in truth’. Simply put, no physical entity will matter in how we worship God – neither geographical location, nor paraphernalia nor anything else. Worship is a spiritual experience. Every man of God is supposed to STAY OUT OF THE WAY and let the people worship God in spirit and in truth. Human beings have this inherent desire to worship. I believe God put it in us for the purpose of the worship of him alone. But people who turn away from God tend to make idols of anything at all. They make idols of their pastors. They make idols of their jobs, marriages, academics etc. These pastors are taking advantage of this and that is why they sell ‘anointed’ items to their congregants. Study the life of the apostles and Jesus himself; you will notice that whenever they performed a miracle with the aid of anything physical, they barely repeated it. Remember when Jesus healed a blind man with his spittle and mud, how many times did he do that? He knew if he had made a practice of this act, people would be after his saliva and not him. This is what is happening now. People are after the miracles and not the giver of all miracles. So God may tell these pastors to do something symbolic just one time, like, praying over water for their congregants; but they will turn it into an entire ministry. If it were one of these pastors who healed the blind man with spittle and mud, they’d probably name their churches after this. Paul didn’t start an apron ministry when people rubbed aprons on him and took them home to heal the sick with. Peter didn’t start a shadow ministry, when his shadow fell on the sick and they recovered immediately. But holy water is for sale in a certain church as we speak. I even hear the blood of Jesus is for sale too. This is more fetish than Christian.

Do not fall for the acts. I believe every man of God is a messenger. Every messenger bears a message. God still sent Moses to be a deliverer in spite of his speech impairment. When you know the sender of the message, you can easily detect whether or not the message is coming from him. Let’s look at the case of Moses vs. Pharaoh’s magicians. Notice how they replicated most of the plagues wrought by Moses’ staff. The miracles can be replicated by foul spirits but the message can never be replicated.  One of the plagues they couldn’t replicate is the one God prides himself in most: the killing of firstborns as a precedence for the freedom of those in bondage. This was just a foreshadow of the death of Christ. If Christ is described as the firstborn of all creation, then his death – just like in Moses’ story – is that which can never be imitated or done by anybody else. Just like the death of the firstborns of the Egyptians was the last straw that broke the camel’s back and set the Israelites free, the death of the firstborn of all creation set us all free. And that is what we are supposed to keep our minds stayed on. If your eyes are fixed on Christ, his death and resurrection, no wind of doctrine can blow you away. In John 10, Jesus said that he is the door hence anyone who enters into the sheepfold without passing through him is a thief. As sheep of his fold, we must keep our eyes on the door. Not the window. Not the crack in the roof, but the door. For this is where genuine, qualified shepherds will come from.

Christianity is not Jewish cultural assimilation: where we are supposed to copy Jewish traditions. Some of these traditions were vehemently opposed by Christ himself. My stomach turns at the new trend in some churches these days. They are of the view that the more Jewish they are, the more spiritual they are. Some pray covering their heads with prayer shawls, like the Jews do. Some pray at certain times because that is what the Jews do. Some also travel all the way to Israel to touch the Wailing Wall to say a prayer. Here again, I will make reference to Jesus’ response to the woman at the well: the true worshipers will worship God in spirit and in truth.

It is very easy for people to assume this is an African phenomenon. The propagation of the prosperity gospel in America is just a westernized form of the situation in Africa. Jim Jones is one clear example of such fetish men of God from the west. The thing is, because of the traditional background of Africans, we are used to the mode of operarion of spiritualists. A spiritualist or fetish priest will give you what you need at a fee. He will give you a token to keep and rituals to do to maintain the efficacy of whatever token he gives you. So even after being converted to Christianity, we expect same from our pastor – which is so wrong. There is nothing wrong with asking a man of God to pray for you. But he shouldn’t take the place of God in your life.

 For there shall arise false Christs, and false prophets, and shall shew great signs and wonders; insomuch that, if it were possible, they shall deceive the very elect. Matthew 24:24